Filtering by Tag: planning

It's OK to not be Engaged and Still Plan Your Wedding

Randi Fracassi

An increasing trend I am seeing among couples and on social media is the idea of planning your wedding when you aren't officially engaged (that is, having a ring or formal proposal). As a wedding vendor, I personally have encountered one or two prospective clients inquiring about services before they were engaged. And while there are overly excited girlfriends who are inquiring about my services so they can have an idea for a budget, the majority of these couples who are planning before they’re officially engaged are genuinely interested in working with me, but are taking their time to gather the funds and to consider every aspect of their wedding.

When asking fellow creative about couples doing it, I actually got a lot of personal stories and experiences of why they started planning. And a lot, if not all, came down to the groom wanting to save up for the perfect ring or they wanted to make sure the vendors they wanted for their day were available. With this kind of reasoning and reflecting on my own relationship, this method of planning is totally understandable, and would be something that I would do as well.

However, when I asked about how their families and friends felt about it, most said that they kept it on the DL until there was an actual proposal. This being said, I think there is a lot of backlash and negativity surrounding this; when I asked this question on Facebook, one of the responses I received was “It’s almost like the girlfriend is being pushy and jumping the marriage gun”. This is not necessarily untrue, as there are individuals like that, but there is so much more to being engaged than just a pretty ring.

"...There is so much more to being engaged than just a pretty ring."

Being engaged is almost like being half married (if that 1) can even happen, and 2) makes any sense whatsoever). You’re juggling finances, ideas, preferences, talking through problems in order to make this party happen. Outside of planning this party though, you are also communicating your hopes and dreams of the life you want to build together. You’re making that promise to each other to stand hand in hand throughout all the chapters of life, and merging together goals and aspirations to include your partners.

Image by Rachel Erin Photography

Image by Rachel Erin Photography

Being engaged is so much more. It’s really that time you take before you’re married to focus on what you want your marriage and life together to be like. It’s having in your heart and soul that without a doubt you want to spend of the rest of your life with this other person. It’s making sure that your values and morals are aligned. It’s recognizing each other’s faults and flaws, past mistakes…realizing that there will be more mistakes and problems in the future, but both be willing to make an effort to actively change for the betterment of each other. Being engaged is cementing these building blocks for your marriage in order to have a stable structure.

And you certainly don’t need a ring in order to make these feelings or these actions official.

And yeah, most folks want so badly to be officially engaged with the pomp and circumstance and the photographer taking the pictures from behind a bush or ugly crying in front of their closest family and friends. But at the end of the day, the love that you have for each other and for your relationship, the respect and acknowledgement of wanting to make a commitment to each other, that is what makes you engaged. The ring is nice, but it’s the love that matters most.

Pinterest: Good or Bad for Your Wedding Planning?

Randi Fracassi

Firstly, happy November, Poppies! It's the official start for us here in the office of the holiday and engagement season, and we're picking up speed for the Spring 2017 weddings and events. Clients whose dates are approaching are asking questions, vendors are being contacted, and details are all coming together. Not to mention, our families and friends are gathering together to celebrate and plan for their own parties and shenanigans. All in all, it's our favorite time of year!

Today as I was browsing Pinterest with my grandmother-in-law on the phone talking about Thanksgiving plans, I couldn't help but be a little overwhelmed by the suggestions; from table settings to menus, looking through it all was starting to make me become mentally claustrophobic (but that could also be because I didn't have my handy boss mug by my side filled with God's own sweet nectar: coffee). 

This lead me to thinking of my clients and recent consultations and their use of Pinterest to create mood boards for their weddings (as well as crafts, clothes, food, decor, child rearing...literally, everything can be categorized these days!). Most often than not, they are filled with elaborate styled shoots, costly fabrics and floral arrangements, and locations that are generally not available in their area. And as someone who loves to please people, this breaks my heart because I always want to make my client's dream a reality.

I've also noticed that more and more clients are referring to a variety of info-graphics to help in creating their budgets. Some are breakdowns per the budget range, and some are percentages. And don't get me wrong, it's great that there is an increased awareness in regards to budgeting, money, and how and what you should be spending your wedding fund on, but there also needs to be a consideration of your location and what you feel are important aspects to your day. (You can check out more about budgets and funding your dream wedding in upcoming blog posts, which I will be sure to link back here.)

On a positive note, once the budget and expectations are set, and there's an open dialogue about what is important to the couple for their wedding, Pinterest becomes my greatest tool in designing. I find that it's often not the whole element of an image or and idea that's desired -- it's really a little piece here and there, and it becomes a matter of connecting all the pieces together to make an event or wedding go from I-just-copied-my-Pinterest to something totally unique and customized for your wedding day. And with the ability to track back to vendors who produced the items or easily find where a location is, it takes a few steps out of the research and evaluation phase of event planning and design. 

So, all in all, I feel that in aspects to collecting elements, Pinterest is a great tool for wedding planning. However, with respect to determining your budget and funding, there's more to be desired. And that's the beauty of doing what we do here at Poppy Lane Events: we get to make it personal and custom to each couple, and endeavor to make sure that regardless of budgets, we achieve make sure the vision becomes a reality.